The organic baby made his first project in daycare!
Marshmallow Fluff smeared on a paper plate with Fruit Loops stuck on it!
And he’s a cheap date!
Ya gotta love that!
Next time I go looking for my happy place I’ll start looking while on my knees but this time…
I’ll open my eyes.
Love to all.
This is gmom,
peace out.
Have you ever been told to go to your happy place?
Go in your mind to the one place on earth that you most want to be,
A beautiful beach.
A mountain meadow.
A rolling hillside in Ireland.
A holy place you once visited and never forgot.
So many times I’ve coaxed women, who in the clutches of labor pain to envision their happy place and go there.
I’ve spent hours whispering to them words of encouragement, that they can endure, that they can breathe through the most intense pain, and most often they do. I leave them holding their perfect beautiful infant at the breast.
In the last few weeks, so many people have told me to go to my happy place.
I’ve searched for it. I’ve even tried physically to go there.
What a crock.
I’ve gone through 6 labors unmedicated.
I’ve had my spinal nerves ablated.
I’ve done it before, I’ve found the strength to go …somewhere.
But now…I’m lost.
My happy place must have gone with the recession.
I can’t feel my strength, my breath.
How can I find my happy place if I can’t find myself.
Where did I go ?
Cujo The Dog Ready For A Fun Evening
Husband is gone for the duration. Saving lives, solving problems, hopefully not reading this.
Me. I’m enjoying a nice summery beverage.
Whiskey straight.
Straight out of the bottle while standing at the kitchen sink in case I gag. Bad reflex when one is not use to drinking. I use to drink. Pretty pink and soft snowy colored drinks with fruit. Dressed up with girlfriends, going out,dancing, pretty, flirty.
See what happens when you have kids! You are reduced to slugging booze over the kitchen sink. Effects the same though.
I’m funnier, I’m pretty and I’m great company. Just ask Cujo the dog, who by the way has suddenly learned English. I know! I (hic) can’t believe it either!
Say something Cujo
I in turn have learned to bark. So between his English and my barking we’ve pretty much got the dictionary covered.
It turns out Cujo greatly resents my keeping an organic kitchen, and frankly I can’t seem to remember why I do either.
I don’t really care about cows. I’d eat most any animal if it’s seared properly and has a nice char.
Cujo! Come back here! Play inside.
Cujo would be yummy I bet.
Americans, we don’t eat dogs or cats.
It’s a cultural thing.
In the Asiatic countries people eat all sorts of crap delectable yummies. Monkeys, dogs (including border collies) bats, snakes.
Cujo let's pretend your the crinimal and I'm an (hic) ociffer.
I’m certain if Taco Bell made a Border Collie Burrito we’d all be chowing down no problemo.
Juco why you hanging with Bart inside come on don't be ascared-redy-cat.thing
Where my little buddy Cujo go?
Cujo, here Cujo.
I dunno whas goin on with Cujo. He usually (hic) very friendly.
———————————————————————————————————–
Cujo actually goes in and out of the house through the opening in the screen at the door.
Alas, since last evening he has lost all ability to speak..and won’t come near me.
I’m sure in a few weeks he’ll get over it.
This is gmom,
peace out.
For all of you following my blog husband is still away overseas.
Here is what has changed at home while the man who holds the string of your kite is gone.
Number one: You might accidentally kill one or 2 of your children.
Normally, in the night Bart comes in, he drives ones of the biofuel trucks and comes in at 3 or 4 a.m. I’ll half wake up and hear him kick off his shoes, shuffle into the shower, scrounge around the kitchen and go to bed.
But without husband here, I immediately reach for the gun.
I go up the stairs gun poised, ready to defend against any intruder. It never dawns on me that Cujo is upstairs happily bopping around.
Bart turns and sees me. Without a word he takes the gun out of my hands, removes the clip and tells me to go back to bed before I hurt myself.
Okay,sorry.
Number 2: You might let your guard dog sleep on your husband’s $200 Brooks Brother’s robe, maybe even on the bed.Everyone needs to be special sometimes.
Number 3: You might stop taking showers often. I mean what’s the point? This goes for changing into nighties as well.
Number 4: You may suddenly realize that a plate of french fries makes a perfectly good dinner, even better while eaten in front of the TV.
Number 5: You may realize that you don’t have to water the “effing lawn everyday, or pick up your dog’s poop. I mean who made these rules anyway? Poop is organic..it’s like compost.
Number 6: Turns out you don’t have to go and check on your neighbor just because it’s 103F outside. Just a big “ole, hope you’re still alive Edna! Yelled out an open window does just fine.
Number 7: You have the opportunity to go though all husband’s secret guy stuff. Unfortunately this has yielded nothing! Nothing!
I hope this give you some good ideas for the next time your superhero flies off.
This is gmom.
Down the rabbit hole.
peace out.
My husband is away.
Doing family business. Kind of heroic stuff. So while I sit home and do my small tasks, go to work, annoy the children, and worry my face into a topographical map. He took matters into his own hands.
He sat in the American Embassy for 8 hours to update his passport in one day at a cost of well….don’t ask.
He bought a ticket out of the country. Remembered his blackberry and my laptop and the boy is gone.
So what is a man’s life anyway.
I’m sitting at his desk. As usual it’s a mess. Little papers with names and numbers, messages scrawled all over it. A filing system I bought him for Father’s day sits unused right next to the monitor. Post it notes stuck to the wall!
Hand sanitizer, a mug one of the kids made eons ago filled with maybe 50 pens, most that don’t work, a calculator. His work jacket sits on the back of the chair smelling of trap grease..and him.
My dog Cujo’s cage sits right by his desk with his jar of treats right on the desk. He hates Cujo.
At least he always says he hates Cujo..
My desk is different.
I dust it.
I have a total of 2 pens and a legal pad.
There’s face cream and an eyebrow tweezers.
A jar of Exedrin and vitamin water.
3 pictures of the children.
My laptop.
Zyrtec.
That’s it.
This isn’t what I thought marriage would be like when I was a little girl running around with a pillow case on my head playing ” getting married”.
I never played “marry” with my girlfriends and said “Let’s pretend we have no money, our houses are too small, our children have problems , our husbands never pick up their dirty clothes and don’t even know how to load a dishwasher…yeah let’s do that!!!”
I never thought “marry” would be a messy desk in my ultra clean home, and a stinky jacket on the back of the chair and dust bunnies underneath the desk that look like shag carpeting in the worst color ever.
When I played “Marry” as a little girl I never fleshed out the guy in the fairytale, he was always an obediant shadow person.. you know a silent partner. I don’t think I even envisioned the guy living in the same house. He just brought a diamond ring and that was about it for his part. Ha!
I never imagined the silent partner would turn out to be my hero.
This is gmom,
peace out.
One should feel safe in their own neighborhood, wouldn’t you agree?
In my zip code there are 157 registered sex offenders.
People (if you can call them that), that have raped children, hurt them
sexually and get their nuts off on trading pictures of naked children.
The second thing that bugs me are the innocent parents who stupidly put their children out on nthe sidewalk hailing down cars to buy a cup of lemonade.
I stopped today by a little girl to buy a cup.
I never got out of my car. She reached in the car window to hand me the cup.
I held back the the money so she had to reach in again.
I asked her, “If I wanted to know your name, or how old you were or where you lived, what would you say?”
“Well I live right here at 34 Ivy Drive, I’m 8 years old and my name is Emily.”
You’re a smart girl. Where’s your mama.
I went to the door.
I tried as gently as possible to talk with the mom. This neighborhood just isn’t safe for her child to be on the street like that.
“Oh I am watching her from the window.”
Lady, while you’re watching from the window. I’ve hauled her into my car.
Think about it.
I left with a loud “Who in the hell do your think you are!!!” Ringing behind me.
157 registered sexual offenders in my zipcode.
How many in yours?
This is gmom,
peace out.
Damn dog.
Down Cujo.
Down!
Hoo peering through the peep hole of the high chair.
Hoo’s Momma went away for a few days.
Gmom, Rose and Grandpa took over.
We are having a busy but awesome time.
We bought a Hoo- size motorcycle to amuse him so if he had a meltdown we had a good distraction handy.But the boy is doing fine, so we just gave it to him.
He did take one spill off of it which required a band- aid,several kisses and quick application of one dum-dum lollipop.
The toe scrape was from chasing Cujo with a handful of sand from the sandbox.
For a special treat we let Hoo use a real screwdriver to meddle in the workings of a broken fan. It’s his current mechanical obsession. Anytime he started walking away with the screwdriver I say, Hoo get back to fixing that fan or give me the tool. He would give me his blue eyed grin and get straight back to work on the fan. I expect with all the banging it will be be working again in due time.
We have watched a fair bit of Baby Einstein videos both in English and Spanish.
The English versions are quite lovely with Pachelbel Canon in D Minor playing beautifully while a soft female voice recites barnyard animal names. The pictures show sweet images of baby cows, chicks and horses.
The Spanish version has the theme to Mama Mia playing with a child reciting animal names.
Rat, snake, iguana and turtle.
I don’t know what to make of that.
Hoo watching Baby Einstein vids
It’s been busy. But a lot of fun.
Hope your weekend was good.
This is gmom.
Wiping the sticky from the keyboard.
Peace out from Hooville.
When my brother’s fatal prognosis was told to our family. We were grouped together surrounding his wife. Hands all around her. On shoulders. On knees. Supporting and holding. 
We are family like that. We hold each other up.
We listened intently to everything the doctor was saying not noticing my mother walking away. My elder sister noticed first.
Where is Mom?
We went to the hospital hallway and saw my mother running down the hospital hallway. For myself, I had a moment of wanting to let her go. She had the right idea. Run Mom Run. But there was no where to run to. We went after her. Like the Keystone cops. We caught her, crying and struggling, out of control. We surrounded her. Someone brought a chair.
It’s okay mom, it’s okay,it’s going to be okay…
We put hands all around her. Held her. Supported her. All of us, Including my sister in law.
We are family like that.
Now I understand why she ran.
But there really is no running from life.
These 5 revitalizing days alone at the beach have reminded me, that I am not alone in my struggles. I have hands all around me. Holding me. Supporting me.
We are family like that.
This is actually two topics in one. I have run away from home. The pressure cooker of some home events drove me to take the sage actions of a friend and skedaddle to higher ground for a breather.
So I write to you from the beachfront. I am watching the waves rolling inexorably into the shore. I am eating bagels and cream cheese with lox, the TV is turned on a rerun of Project Runway, I have a six-pack of beer cooling on ice.
It’s all wrong, but exactly what I need. A short break from a difficult reality. Hubby didn’t exactly give me his blessing, but I did notice he put the ‘easy-pass’ in my car’ and called to check up on me a few times. All good. This is working for me.
So Rose and I, you know Rose, my 21-year-old? Works full-time and goes to college full-time? My own little overachiever. She and I were discussing things you should try at least once in your life.
We settled on:
Sky diving
Scuba diving
Rock climbing
Bungee jumping
Singing in front of a crowd
Go surfing in Malibu
Visit India
Climb an active volcano
Participate in Burning Man
Now of course we then went on to name a bunch of things we thought we wouldn’t try.
So here is that list too. Be sure to add yours in.
We wouldn’t try cocaine or heroin. One time may be one time too many.
We wouldn’t…
Get a big ‘name tattoo’ on our face.
Run a marathon. (ewwwww)
Join a ‘hold your breath’ under water contest.
Run naked through church.
Read War And Peace. Uh no.
See the Taj Mahal. I seen it in Las Vegas it ain’t all that!
Backpack through the rainforest. No No No.
Learn an indigenous language. I’ll stick to pig-Latin.
Listen to Enya for 5 hours straight. Just shoot me instead.
Give someone directions, even though you have no idea where they are going.
Get drunk and ruin someones special day.
Photocopy your butt. Why do people do that???
Join a self-help group. I actually did that once with my sister and they kicked us out for laughing.
Last but not least, marry someone you met in an online dating site who you have only met one time. Don’t ask! I know someone who did this. What a disaster.
So there you go kids.
What are your ideas. Hmmm?
This is gmom,
at the beach,
watching the waves and wondering,
why do I live in the city????
Peace and I am outa here!
