Here on the frontier, There are falling leaves, Although my neighbors are all barbarions…And you? You are a thousand miles away. There are always two cups on my table.

A Man’s Life

My husband is away.

Doing family business. Kind of heroic stuff. So while I sit home and do my small tasks, go to work, annoy the children, and worry my face into a topographical map. He took matters into his own hands.

He sat in the American Embassy for 8 hours to update his passport in one day at a cost of well….don’t ask.

He bought a ticket out of the country. Remembered his blackberry and my laptop and the boy is gone.

So what is a man’s life anyway.

I’m sitting at his desk. As usual it’s a mess. Little papers with names and numbers, messages scrawled all over it. A filing system I bought him for Father’s day sits unused right next to the monitor. Post it notes stuck to the wall!

Hand sanitizer, a mug one of the kids made eons ago filled with maybe 50 pens, most that don’t work, a calculator. His work jacket sits on the back of the chair smelling of trap grease..and him.

My dog Cujo’s cage sits right by his desk with his jar of treats right on the desk. He hates Cujo.

At least he always says he hates Cujo..

My desk is different.

I dust it.

I have a total of 2 pens and a legal pad.

There’s face cream and an eyebrow tweezers.

A jar of Exedrin and vitamin water.

3 pictures of the children.

My laptop.

Zyrtec.

That’s it.

This isn’t what I thought marriage would be like when I was a little girl running around with a pillow case on my head playing ” getting married”.

I never played “marry” with my girlfriends and said “Let’s pretend we have no money, our houses are too small, our children have problems , our husbands never pick up their dirty clothes and don’t even know how to load a dishwasher…yeah let’s do that!!!”

I never thought “marry” would be a messy desk in my ultra clean home, and a stinky jacket on the back of the chair and dust bunnies underneath the desk that look like shag carpeting in the worst color ever.

When I played “Marry” as a little girl I never fleshed out the guy in the fairytale, he was always an obediant shadow person.. you know a silent partner. I don’t think I even envisioned the guy living in the same house. He just brought a diamond ring and that was about it for his part. Ha!

I never imagined the silent partner would turn out to be my  hero.

This is gmom,

peace out.

 

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Comments on: "A Man’s Life" (13)

  1. “My desk is different. I dust it.” That made me laugh out loud. Really. The fact that you can dust your desk is the main difference, you know?

    GMom, when I see you’ve posted a smile appears on my face. Thanks for writing today. I enjoyed reading your story – which is universal. Your silent partner/hero are in my thoughts and prayers, as he travels abroad.

    ~ Lenore

  2. Thanks Lenore. I don’t know how men get any work done in their messes! You can’t even see the desk top and there is overflow on the floor plus a pair of shoes. And God help me if I move anything..
    “I had a paper right here did you throw it out???”
    “You have 20 papers right there and I don’t go near that mess?”
    “Well someone did,can you help me look for it?” That’s the scary question. Go near that desk??? No ! no,no,no.
    But as I said.
    When the going gets tough the tough find a telephone booth. If you catch my drift.
    Regards-

  3. That was both sweet and funny! I also didn’t envision my husband’s quirks when I imagined being married, and it’s alternatively amusing and frustrating to note the differences between us. 🙂 Hope your husband is coming back soon.

  4. (sigh) My Hot Joe, he’s a clean guy. He picks up after himself for the most part but he keeps absolutely everything in the world (He still has paycheck stubs from the 90s – THE NINETIES!!!!). I’m running out of well-organized room. Does he really need every single issue of Car Craft and Muscle Car that he has ever received since the beginning of time? His other misdemeanor-His stack of clothes on the foot rest in front of the rocking chair in our bedroom that nobody ever uses (except that one time he was dramatically mad and sat in it for 40 minutes) but he refuses to throw out for reasons completely unbeknownst probably even to himself. Where was I? Oh yeah, the stack of clothes. Apparently these are clean clothes that he plans to wear again at some point even though he abhors wrinkles. This stack ends up sorted by yours truly once or twice a week depending on how often I wash the darks. My desk is very similar to yours, and it gets dusted with Windex. I LOVE me some Windex. It cleans everything and makes it smell nice. And anything with bleach in it. WATCH OUT surfaces!

    Carry on.

    • Have you tried Orange-Glo. OMG! I love Orange-Glo.

      This is a big secret but my husband also keeps (hoards) paystubs, checks whatever from the stone age. So every once in a while I burn the Fall leaves and sneakily toss in a box. He never misses them.

      • Oh my gosh – I could write a blog about what Rob keeps and refuses to throw away. Actually, I could write a novel about the stuff the man keeps. Hmmmm…. tossing items in a leaves fire. You are a clever woman, Gmom.

      • Oh…I do the same thing and blatantly deny when he suddenly wants to wear that shirt from 1995. “What? I totally know what shirt you’re talking about! OHMYGOSH where could it have gone? Let me help you look beloved! Maybe it’s here under the empty folded up box from your stereo system that you bought 8 years ago. Nope. Maybe under your tax returns from 2001? No, not there either. Let me check under your stack of Summit catalogs that you get monthly but still have from 5 years ago. I’ll let you know if I find it.”

  5. Oh Kim you are hysterical.
    My husband also has every briefcase he has ever used or received as a gift.
    Do you know how heavy a briefcase make a 13 gallon size garbage bag feel?
    “What’s in here?”
    Oh you know I cleaned out the fish tank and there were some dead fish I had to wrap…
    “Oh okay.”
    No chance of his opening the trash and finding briefcase number 37 in there. Only about 12 to go now.
    Note to daughter: One creepy comic book at a time. Your husband is stealthy himself.
    One must do these things slowly….

  6. My desk is in between yours and your husbands. I’m going to send a picture of your husband’s desk to my wife so she’ll cut me some slack.

  7. Girl Power rules, right?

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