Here on the frontier, There are falling leaves, Although my neighbors are all barbarions…And you? You are a thousand miles away. There are always two cups on my table.

Have you ever been told to go to your happy place?

Go in your mind to the one place on earth that you most want to be,

A beautiful beach.

A mountain meadow.

A rolling hillside in Ireland.

A holy place you once visited and never forgot.

So many times I’ve coaxed women, who in the clutches of labor pain to envision their happy place and go there.

I’ve spent hours whispering to them words of encouragement, that they can endure, that they can breathe through the most intense pain, and most often they do. I leave them holding their perfect beautiful infant at the breast.

In the last few weeks, so many people have told me to go to my happy place.

I’ve searched for it. I’ve even tried physically to go there.

What a crock.

I’ve gone through 6 labors unmedicated.

I’ve had my spinal nerves ablated.

I’ve done it before, I’ve found the strength to go …somewhere.

But now…I’m lost.

My happy place must have gone with the recession.

I can’t feel my strength, my breath.

How can I find my happy place if I can’t find myself.

Where did  I go ?

Comments on: "Where Is My Happy Place? Can I Borrow Yours?" (9)

  1. I love how in the midst of your lostness (it’s a word, work with me here…) you still manage to be funny. “My happy place must have gone with the recession.”

    How does one support a member of the choir, eh? I mean, as you’ve said – you taught birthing Moms how to tap into their happy place. You’ve had to – and successfully managed – to tap into your happy place. And yet now – as you wrote – you are at a loss.

    Perhaps, while looking for yourself and your happy place, you can find the happy places of others. See the light in others, and let their light give you light. Look beyond yourself, and find the joy in someone else. I’d be happy to send you a video of my kid swimming. He’s kinda cute.

    Then again, you can toss out everything i have said and just slam doors. I find that quite therapeutic. Though, the door jams do take a beating.

  2. ((((((hugs)))))

  3. EVERYONE loves that song! Great post. The title rocked!

  4. Buckley so tragic, so brilliant.

  5. […] Where Is My Happy Place? Can I Borrow Yours? ( […]

  6. […] Where Is My Happy Place? Can I Borrow Yours? […]

  7. […] Where Is My Happy Place? Can I Borrow Yours? ( […]

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