Here on the frontier, There are falling leaves, Although my neighbors are all barbarions…And you? You are a thousand miles away. There are always two cups on my table.

Archive for the ‘wedding’ Category

Good Gifts (and bad) For Wives : Husbands You Can Take Notes On This

Everyone likes to get a good gift. A gift that demonstrates that the giver really thought about what the the receiver would like.

Women are typically good gift givers. Men not so much.

So I’m doing you guys a favor and spelling it out for you.

Newsflash!  Flowers are not a gift. They are a thoughtful gesture or an accompaniment to a heartfelt apology.

Roses go really well with, for instance,… “I borrowed your car,

left the tank on empty and didn’t tell you.

I am fully accountable for you being late for your meeting.”

Newsflash!  Unless the girl is a teenager don’t give candy. Almost all women are watching their figures and don’t appreciate the sabotage.

It’s a classic blunder.

If we want chocolate we’ll buy it for ourselves.

Good Gifts:

1. Diamond stud earrings. Guys don’t try and get creative with all the pretty colored stone  jewelry out there.

The classic diamond stud can be had pretty inexpensively. Just one word of warning don’t buy the size for infants unless your wife is a dwarf, then it might be okay, I’ll check.

2. Gift Certificate to a spa. Most women will really appreciate your thoughtfulness. Showing your love by giving her some pampering is going to win you big brownie points.  Most guys think their gal wants to spend her special day with him.  I don’t know why guys think this.

3. Gift Certificate to her favorite shoe or clothing store. Don’t risk buying what you “think” she would like and worse yet, guess her “size”. That’s a night on the couch for sure. And don’t buy sexy lingerie guys, it’s so self-serving.

4. Short on time or inspiration? Buy a Kindle and a beautiful card with a return gift receipt. She will love it. Unless she is blind and only reads braille. Then you screwed up.

Bad Gifts. Very very bad.

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1. Membership to a gym. (Can you spell divorce court?)

2.Gift Card to Home Depot.

3. An Appliance.  Unless it’s something she specifiacally asked for, found the one she wanted and taped a reminder to your shaving mirror.

4.A home cooked dinner. No explanation needed right?

5. A mop. Thanks to Silverado for this one. Inspired.

Guys I just want to say, your welcome.

I know you needed this information.

Gmom is here to help. I’m just like that. I’m a helper person.

Now, what was the best and worst gift that you have received?

This is gmom the helper person,

peace out.

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Family Wedding or Welcome To Fight Club

Another family wedding.

I don’t know about any other families but with ours….?

It’s not a picnic to put all the extended family together in one room.

There should probably be some law prohibiting it.

Between the mass alcohol consumption and the golden rare opportunity to finally tell Uncle so-and so what he did in 1986 that still has you making excuses.

Cousin Chris? Who married your girlfriend after you broke up but before you were sure you absolutely hated her, as he claims you did..

You just can’t resist revisiting that time can you.

For myself, honestly I hate having to remember who I told what to,

and who I told never to breathe a word about something…

but about what I’m not sure anymore.

It’s a regular Jerry Springer marathon event but with a seven piece band and eight course dinner.

The wedding is out-of-town.

My dear mother in law.

Who I really love, by the way, wants us to stay with her and Dad.

How do I politely tell her no thanks I’ll be hightailing it out of there before the,

“”so what are you up to these days…”

from my third cousin twice removed,

turns into,

“Did you hear Jen’s husband Bob is in rehab?”.

(“Uh, Jen is standing behind you, with Bob.”)

Fun.

I’ll spend an hour trying to remember everybody’s kid’s names and ask the little darlings how third grade is treating them.

I’ll be patient and understanding when they cry out loud during the wedding ceremony and while their mom hustles them out to the hallway.

I’ll be okay when I go to the women’s room to find 3 adolescent girls in tears over a torn dress hem.

I’ll spend time with the ancient aunt who never fails to ask after the health of my dog Cujo but can’t remember my name to save her life.

I’ll hug my brothers and sisters. We don’t say much, foxhole buddies.

We leave feeling exhausted,

and mortal,

riding  the New Jersey Turnpike at 2 a.m.

I drive back to Baltimore with one of my children.

We will meet in the parking lot of the wedding hall.

I’ll probably share a smoke with Bart and a few laughs over something,

like dad pulling the cord on the band’s amplifier. Ha! He did warn them to turn that dang music down.

China and Silver will be waiting like sentries for everyone to be present and accounted for before we go. Silver sneaking short drags on his skinny cigars, like he knows he’s doing something wrong.

And on that night,

when two lives are bonded in the crucible of marriage,

I’ll pray that the younguns’  find some happiness in this complicated world of relationships.

I’ll pray that the husband loves his wife in the way mine loves me,

just as I am.

A hopeless non-conformist, sarcastic, cynical, talk too much, say too little.

A person so completely smitten with those people standing in the dark,

waiting by the car.

Those people whose jokes I get.

And always think are funny,

even when they are not.

Laughing too loudly in a tight little impenetrable mob,

The other guests  give them a sniffy wide berth.

But I walk straight into their midst,

and take my place.

 

This is gmom,

peace out.

Mashed Potatoes and Gravy Recipe OMG It’s Better Than…

There are some foods that children shouldn’t be allowed to eat.

Now I see you shakin’ your heads but it’s true.

When the “grown ups” are moaning and smooching their spoons now there is something going on that’s not for little mouths.

Take mashed potatoes and gravy for instance.

It looks innocent enough.

But don’t let looks fool you.

The dowdiest of spuds  with a slick of creamy gravy can tickle you up like the first time a boy ever…well you know.

and you never looked back.

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Boil potatoes until they are fork tender.

Run them under cool water and peel.

Mash with a masher, food processor or even the back of a fork.

Like a much-loved mattress a little lumpy is good.

To make gravy:

Take all the pan drippings from your turkey, chicken or meat.

Put them on the stove and heat the pan.

Stir around so all the tasty bits get loosened up.

If your pan is fairly dry add in 1 cup of water and 1 cup of red wine.

In a cup measure out 1/4 cup of corn starch and 1/2 cup of water.

Stir to combine.

Pour this mixture into your pan drippings.

Stir the gravy as it thickens.

Once the thickening (cornstarch + water) is mixed  pour the gravy into a saucepan over a low to medium heat.

Let the gravy cook until it is the consistency you like.

How’s that for easy.

Now pour this yummy delectable bit of naughtiness over the mashed spuds and….

Stand around the kitchen with all the daughters and women and eat the mashed potatoes and gravy out of coffee mugs cause you just can’t wait till dinner…

Just kidding.

(That’s what gmom and the girls did while the boys played some poker and watched football.)

Happy Thanks WP kids.

Hope your day was as yummy as mine was.

I can’t wait for the turkey, stuffing, cranberry and gravy sandwiches tomorrow!

Simple and Perfect Roast Turkey Recipe

Happy Thanksgiving!

Now let’s get to it!

This prep shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.

When you put your turkey in the pan put it breast side down.

It’s a continuing argument among cooks about this but I side with those who believe that if it’s cooked this way the juices flow down into the breast.

After your turkey is done be sure to let it rest for 20-30 minutes before carving to allow juices to absorb back into the meat.

Parade time!

Pat dry your turkey with paper towels.

Make a dry rub of 3 parts brown sugar, 2 parts paprika, 2 parts salt, 1 part garlic powder and 1 part pepper. The butter infused with herbs will be one:1/2 cup of butter or alternative, 2 teaspoons of thyme, 1 teaspoon of rosemary 1 teaspoon of sage.

Put your butter (or margarine or oil) infused with herbs under the skin of the turkey.

Preheat your oven to 325 F. I have mine at 250 F because I like to slow roast our turkey but if you are short on time or need your oven for other preparations go with 325F.

Rub your dry rub ingredients all over the skin and inside the cavity of the turkey.

Cover the turkey with aluminum foil and put into the oven at 325 F for 2.5 hours for an 18 pound bird. Uncover for the last 30 minutes to allow skin to brown.

“Hoo is all set to watch the parade!”]

Baked Butternut Squash Recipe(Thanksgiving)

The tools to attack the butternut squash.

The big day is coming and cooking ahead makes life so much easier!

The Chef may or may not be frying the turkey ’cause it looks like rain here in B’more.

I may just slow roast it.

But I love nothing better than to sit with the kids and watch the Macy’s Day parade on TV, and then (I know this is so lame…) the International Dog Show.

I’m probably the only person without a competitor watching.

But me and Cujo we just loves it!

So I don’t want to be in kitchen the whole day.

I want my chocolate spoon in my good Ghiardelli hot cocoa and some french toast.

Maybe some caramel popcorn during the day.

But to get that free time and still have a meal for 15 people come late afternoon I have to cook today (and yesterday).

This side dish of baked butternut squash is another seasonal good one that goes nicely with the traditional foods of Thanksgiving.

Just be careful when you are cutting this hard squash up you don’t cut yourself.

You can soften it first by cooking it in the microwave for a few minutes first then proceeding with the recipe.

If you do that be sure to pierce the squash deeply so if pressure builds inside it doesn’t explode all over the place.

Directions:

Peel the butternut squash and cut it into cubes.

After the squash is peeled cut it into cubes. There will be seeds in a center pocket that you can discard.

Dice up 1/2 cup of an onion.

Put the butternut squash into a baking dish.

Toss with 1/2 cup of oil.

Put the onion over the squash pieces and sprinkle on salt, pepper and a teaspoon of sugar.

The squah and onions seasoned and ready to bake.

Cover tightly with aluminum foil.

Into the oven you go covered snugly with aluminum foil

Bake at 350 for 40 minutes.

Take foil off and continue baking until squash is fork tender, about 15 minutes.

If you are making this dish ahead of time don’t do the last 15 minutes of bake time.

When you reheat the dish on Thursday prior to the meal you will finish off the baking then.

That’s it another yum dish to serve on your Thanksgiving table.

The finished dish after baking uncovered the last 15 minutes will have browned edges and be so yummy.

Enjoy WP friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

From gmom and Hoo and Cujo the dog.

Delicious Cranberry Sauce With or Without Grand Marnier

3 ingredients plus 1 optional. You will need 1 bag of fresh cranberries.(BTW you can buy them in bulk now that they are in season and freeze them with the same cooking results) 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of orange juice and optionally 1/4 cup of Grand Marnier.

Nothing complements a turkey dinner as nicely as cranberry sauce.

The sweet tart combination with a bite of succulent turkey is oh so good!

So here is my favorite way to prepare it.

Easy as pie as usual.

“You will need one cup of orange juice”

Put one cup of orange juice into a pot then add in one cup of sugar.

Bring the orange juice and the sugar to a a boil briefly to dissolve the sugar then add in the cranberries.

[

Let Cranberries sugar and orange juice simmer for 10 minutes. You will hear cranberries pop. After 10 minutes you can add in 1/4 cup of Grand Marnier if you like. The sauce will be syrupy but when cool will jell.

This is a much loved recipe for it’s great taste.

Ease of preparation and (wait for it) you can make it ahead by several days and it keeps beautifully in the refrigerater.

Happy Thanksgiving Day WP’s.

Watch for the turkey recipe Thursday.

The bad boy is brining away already.

This is gmom and baby Hoo and Cujo the dog sending out cranberry peace to all the blogger cooks out there.

Peace out.

Easy Pizza Recipe

This post goes out to Littlequeenjay who lives far far away and doesn’t get good results from her current pizza recipe.

Here ya go girl!
http://losingtheplotinnortherncyprus.wordpress.com/

Be sure to visit her blog she is awesome!!!!

This pizza recipe is so much tastier (and cheaper) then any take out pizza or frozen store bought.

It doesn’t require a lot of time and can be done in under 2 hours including dough rising.


Ingredients:

– 2 cups warm water

– 2 packet of yeast

– 2 tablespoons sugar

Put water, yeast and sugar into a mixing bowl.

When yeast begins to foam like this….

When yeast foams this is called proofing the yeast. You want to see this as it demonstrates that the yeast is active. If it doesn't foam after several minutes it may be old yeast or the water may have been hot and killed the yeast. Start over.

add in:

– 2 teaspoons salt

– 1 egg

– 1/2 stick of softened or melted margarine or butter

– 7 cups of flour

Mix all ingredients.

Knead briefly.

Cover dough with a tea towel and set aside to rise.

Dough has been kneaded and is ready to rise.Leave it for at least 30 minutes.

Prepare your favorite pizza sauce and toppings.

We used portabello mushrooms and garlic.

For sauce I used 1 can of tomato paste(16 oz) plus 1 can of water.

1/2 cup of sugar

1/4 cup olive oil

2 teaspoons kosher salt

2 teaspoon minced garlic

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 teaspoon oregano

After 1/2 an hour or up to an hour or more take your dough and punch it down as it will have risen.

Punch dough down after it has been left to rise and knead for a couple of minutes. Then spread it out in your greased cookie sheet or pizza pan.

Knead it for a couple of minutes.

Spread it on a cookie sheet or pizza pan.

Spread sauce and toppings on pizza dough.

After the dough has been pressed into the pizza pan. Spread the sauce and add the toppings and cheese.

Sprinkle on cheese.

I used cheddar.

Bake at 375 F for 20-30 minutes checking frequently for desired doneness.

Pizza with Portabello mushroom and minced garlic with cheddar cheese ready for the oven

We like ours a little burnt on the edges and very crisp.

Rose home just in time to take the pizza out. There is just a good feeling in a home when you come in after a day of school and work and someone has thought enough of you to make something good to eat. Little gal dug right in!


This is a very simple and delicious pizza recipe.

If you are short on time and don’t want to make your own dough check out Trader Joe’s pizza dough for .99 cents in the refrigerater case. It comes in herb flavour and whole wheat beside plain white dough.
It’s not bad and in a pinch makes a good pizza.

One slice left for any midnight snacker. Don't worry I squirreled away a big piece for my boy Bart. You know where he is. Out collecting oil. Won't be home till the wee hours. There will be pizza a cold beer and warm bed waiting for the boy.

Enjoy WP kids eat pizza today turkey day is coming!!!!

Our turkey is already brining in the fridge.

It’s the only way to make a turkey!

Put a cup of salt, a cup of sugar and a generous handful of spices into a big pot with some water. Bring to a boil. Let cool completely. Put your defrosted turkey in and add enough water so turkey is submerged. Put in fridge. It can sit for 3-4 days until you cook it. You won’t taste a better turkey where every bit is eaten. Will post recipe later.

Turkey sits in the brine in the refrigerater for several days before cooking.

This is gmom ,Hoo and Cujo sending love out there to all you good folks.

Peace out.

Hoo and Cujo

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