Here on the frontier, There are falling leaves, Although my neighbors are all barbarions…And you? You are a thousand miles away. There are always two cups on my table.

Posts tagged ‘death and dying’

Remembering Jeff: Like A Prayer

This is how I remember it.

This is how it was.

——————————————————–

It’s called a secondary cancer.

A migratory zone.

Where the cells go to garden.

The brain.

We  sat in the waiting room praying for him.  Losing hope as the hours passed,

as the 7 hour surgery turned into 22.

Finally, the surgeon came out and told us what we already knew.

It was not good.

But for now he was in recovery.

My sisters and I stayed at the hospital and waited for a chance to visit him, for the chance to see that he yet existed and was still amongst us.

At some point in the night the nurses removed the breathing tube.

He spoke in a broken record, PeeWee Herman voice not his own.. “tumor tumor tumor”.

“Tumor’s all gone, honey, tumor is gone.”

I didn’t know if he heard or understood me as he continued his senseless mutterings.

Suddenly, he turned towards me and with  eyes unfocused and snapping left-right, left-right said

“Sing sing sing sing”.

So I sang,

to my brother.

““““““““““““““““““““`

Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone.
I hear you call my name and it feels like
Home.

When you call my name, it’s like a little
Prayer. I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you
there. In the midnight hour, I can feel your
Power. Just like a prayer, you know I’ll take you there

 

The hard part wasn’t his leaving.

The hard part was being left.

He stayed long enough to say goodbye.

This is gmom,

peace out.

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A Little Child Shall Lead Them (Isaiah 11:6)

Recently our community was dealt a one 2 punch.

A double loss that took the balance and breath from many of us,

gmom included.

The sorrow was irrefutable. The pain undeniable.

With the Holiday upon us we mourned silently.

Celebrating was out of the question.

A heaviness hung over us,

the Spring storms reflected our troubled spirits.

But there are those you encounter in life who unwittingly walk you through difficult times.

Their goodness, integrity and even purity make it easier for us to…well… get on with it.

This is that story.

In a basement room a  young woman’s smile

And her earnest husband’s sweetness,

lifted my heart.

They don’t even know me. Not really.

But I went with them,

As they birthed their child.

As much as this woman held on to me,

I held on to her.

And in that moment of birth I cannot say much but this.

The world revolved softly again,

colors came back into focus,

and I felt the earth solid and true

as it had always been.

It seemed fitting to leave the new family,

with the father watching over the nursing mother.

The sun was setting.

The sky grew dim, then dark.

Day folded silent into night as I walked home.

This is gmom,

Peace out.

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