Here on the frontier, There are falling leaves, Although my neighbors are all barbarions…And you? You are a thousand miles away. There are always two cups on my table.

Posts tagged ‘holidays’

Fifty Is The Best Birthday Ever!!!! I’m Going To Do It Every Year!!!

OMG!

If I knew 50 was going to be so great. I would have turned 50 last year. I am totally doing it again next year!

No seriously, I am!

First gift?

A dishwasher!!!!!

My great kids bought me a dishwasher!!!!!

That might seem lame to some but just ask daughter Eggs, mother to Hoo.  She jumps to wash the dishes after dinner cause she knows how much I hate it.

China,  who is so exhausted taking care of new baby Li. She will be pulling on the sink gloves insisting she likes to do the dishes. Yeah and I like root canal.

Maybe they got the dishwasher for themselves….hmmmmm.  Naw it’s for me.

Ta Dah!!!! Dishwasher rocks! Thanks kids!

Then…

Husband gave me yellow roses which I think symbolize jealousy. He always gets them because when I was delivering my first baby  there was a picture of yellow roses on the delivery room wall.  I used it as a focal point. Good times, good times.

Now he thinks they are the  flower power rose.

He also gave me a chocolate bar.

Thanks hubby.

He also did  give me the awesome kids so that covers a lot of gift giving.

Now my younger sista gave me a handbag made of seat belts. She is all about the off beat. The bag is kinda cool and should fetch a nice price on Ebay. Thanks sis!

Now middle sista gave me jewels!!!

Pretty earrings small and dangly and an evil eye keeper away-er bracelet.

I’m actually wearing them now, but here’s a picture of the bracelet!  Thanks sis!

Now my big sis sent me a gift card to…..you guessed it…..every white middle class woman’s favorite fake french thrift store Anthropologie. Wooohooo!

I’m getting a whatnot! I’m getting a whatnot!

It’s awesome! Thanks big sis.

Then to make the best day ever even better China and her hubby Silver treated me to

Cirque De Soleil. It was a blast. Why the big fat man sitting right next to me had to get up and switch his seat just cus I was waving to  the performers I do not understand. It was a circus!

I was the one who should have changed seats seeing as he had to pass gas before the show started and I was not going to spend my evening smelling other people’s flatulence. I (kindly, I think) mentioned to him that the port o’ potties were just outside the bigtop.  Anyhoo, he moved, and I had plenty of room to wave my arm off.

The show was “Totem” and although not historically accurate (American Indians did not roller-skate) was a great performance.

Thanks to China and Silver for a perfect ending to a great day. Here’s me and China at Cirq.

So thanks to everyone for all the happy birthday wishes.

Thanks for all the fun.

Thanks for remembering me.

This is gmom.

Peace out.

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Best Birthday Gift For Middle Class And White (me)

Anything from Anthropologie. It is the middle class woman’s cheap imitation of a French thrift store.

I especially like the authentic rust covered lawn furniture holding handcrafted soaps and lots of “whatnot”.   I want a whatnot now!  I totally could sell Anthropologie my lawn furniture for their store displays.                   

Tres chic! Can they pick it up before bulk trash gets here???                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

A bottle of single-malt scotch. Because I am too old for beer, it gives me gas.  I’m too snobby for cheap alcohol and I want to have something in the house that my old man won’t snicker at.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Organic Bath products made by someone named Holly. Because Holly would make the best most pricey organic stuff. Like soaps with tiny bits of grass and twigs. I love that. Holly Organics would tie a raffia bow around all her mass-produced …organics.  A charity associated with Holly Organics would be an added bonus.    See what you can do.                                                                                                                                    Maybe just a pint of  Ben and Jerry’s instead.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

  • A copy of the DVD White Chicks. Because it will get this white chick laughing seeing the Coen Brothers  doing dead on imitations of  white girls.
  • Teva shoes. Well made, imported from the middle east and so avant-garde.   They are the go to shoe for yoga class, bootcamp and the weekly psychiatric session.    One wants to make the right impression.

There that should get you started.

Get moving kids my birthday is Tuesday.

Oh and please no more Godiva chocolate (my relative’s default gift setting) or spa treatments (I work in a spa remember?)

This is gmom,

peace out.

Happy Birthday to me!

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