Here on the frontier, There are falling leaves, Although my neighbors are all barbarions…And you? You are a thousand miles away. There are always two cups on my table.

Posts tagged ‘Humor’

The Artful Dodger’s Weekend: Hoo At Home

Hoo peering through the peep hole of the high chair.

Hoo’s Momma went away for a few days.

Gmom, Rose and Grandpa took over.

We are having a busy but awesome time.

We bought a Hoo- size motorcycle to amuse him so if he had a meltdown we had a good distraction handy.But the boy is doing fine, so we just gave it to him.

He did take one spill off of it which required a band- aid,several kisses and quick application of one dum-dum lollipop.

The toe scrape was from chasing Cujo with a handful of  sand from the sandbox.

For a special treat we let Hoo use a real screwdriver to meddle in the workings of a broken fan. It’s his current mechanical obsession. Anytime he started walking away with the screwdriver I say, Hoo get back to fixing that fan or give me the tool. He would give me his blue eyed grin and get straight back to work on the fan. I expect with all the banging it will be be working again in due time.

We have watched a fair bit of Baby Einstein videos both in English and Spanish.

The English versions are quite lovely with Pachelbel Canon in D Minor playing beautifully while a soft female voice recites barnyard animal names. The pictures show sweet images of baby cows, chicks and horses.

The Spanish version has the theme to Mama Mia playing with a child reciting animal names.

Rat, snake, iguana and turtle.

I don’t know what to make of that.

Hoo watching Baby Einstein vids

It’s been busy. But a lot of fun.

Hope your weekend was good.

This is gmom.

Wiping the sticky from the keyboard.

Peace out from Hooville.

Hey, Hey I wanna Be A Rockstar! Baby You Are!

Hoo is on the computer……again.

Staring intently at the screen.

Typing two handed.

Wearing his shades.

Doesn’t want Grandma to read what he wrote.

It’s a secret.

A new blog post, a tell all, an SOS sent out to the  world.

Traitor. Teeny tiny traitor.

hdjejdkkdidmnfmjfjkigkgmfjdjdndjdhbshdnfnnggjgmgmgm

Hoo you little rockstar!

Best Birthday Gift For Middle Class And White (me)

Anything from Anthropologie. It is the middle class woman’s cheap imitation of a French thrift store.

I especially like the authentic rust covered lawn furniture holding handcrafted soaps and lots of “whatnot”.   I want a whatnot now!  I totally could sell Anthropologie my lawn furniture for their store displays.                   

Tres chic! Can they pick it up before bulk trash gets here???                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

A bottle of single-malt scotch. Because I am too old for beer, it gives me gas.  I’m too snobby for cheap alcohol and I want to have something in the house that my old man won’t snicker at.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Organic Bath products made by someone named Holly. Because Holly would make the best most pricey organic stuff. Like soaps with tiny bits of grass and twigs. I love that. Holly Organics would tie a raffia bow around all her mass-produced …organics.  A charity associated with Holly Organics would be an added bonus.    See what you can do.                                                                                                                                    Maybe just a pint of  Ben and Jerry’s instead.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

  • A copy of the DVD White Chicks. Because it will get this white chick laughing seeing the Coen Brothers  doing dead on imitations of  white girls.
  • Teva shoes. Well made, imported from the middle east and so avant-garde.   They are the go to shoe for yoga class, bootcamp and the weekly psychiatric session.    One wants to make the right impression.

There that should get you started.

Get moving kids my birthday is Tuesday.

Oh and please no more Godiva chocolate (my relative’s default gift setting) or spa treatments (I work in a spa remember?)

This is gmom,

peace out.

Happy Birthday to me!

Terrible Almost Two

Hoo, the boy I am so crazy in love with, is going through a hitting phase. I
remember it well from when his aunts and uncles were little hooligans. Slamming
their heads into my face when I least expected it. It not only brought  tears to my
eyes it chipped  teeth!
Bites to the shoulder when gently rocking the little darlings to sleep.
Hard (dare I say vicious) bites.

Hoo shows me objects so close they nearly

take an eye out. His toothbrush, a spoon he

is done with, his finger all make great

pokers to check how do grandma’s eyes

work.

Not too good and not for much

longer if you keep poking them!

I don’t want to cramp his natural curiosity of his world but I would like to survive it intact.

He also excels at the toddler back-bend when he doesn’t want to get into his car seat.

It’s like trying to wrestle a giant squirrel.

I have to watch out for swinging arms that wing my glasses out the car door and kicking  that would make David Carradine proud.

He is not the grasshopper he is the  master. Roundhouse kick to the midsection. Yah!

Right now, right this very instant. He is doing something he knows very well he shouldn’t.

He is playing with the guitar.

I’ll go put him in “Time-Out”,

right after I paper clip my glasses back together.

Or maybe I’ll just call to him from the safety of this tabletop….yeah that’s it.

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