Here on the frontier, There are falling leaves, Although my neighbors are all barbarions…And you? You are a thousand miles away. There are always two cups on my table.

Posts tagged ‘toddlers’

Terrible Almost Two

Hoo, the boy I am so crazy in love with, is going through a hitting phase. I
remember it well from when his aunts and uncles were little hooligans. Slamming
their heads into my face when I least expected it. It not only brought  tears to my
eyes it chipped  teeth!
Bites to the shoulder when gently rocking the little darlings to sleep.
Hard (dare I say vicious) bites.

Hoo shows me objects so close they nearly

take an eye out. His toothbrush, a spoon he

is done with, his finger all make great

pokers to check how do grandma’s eyes

work.

Not too good and not for much

longer if you keep poking them!

I don’t want to cramp his natural curiosity of his world but I would like to survive it intact.

He also excels at the toddler back-bend when he doesn’t want to get into his car seat.

It’s like trying to wrestle a giant squirrel.

I have to watch out for swinging arms that wing my glasses out the car door and kicking  that would make David Carradine proud.

He is not the grasshopper he is the  master. Roundhouse kick to the midsection. Yah!

Right now, right this very instant. He is doing something he knows very well he shouldn’t.

He is playing with the guitar.

I’ll go put him in “Time-Out”,

right after I paper clip my glasses back together.

Or maybe I’ll just call to him from the safety of this tabletop….yeah that’s it.

The 8 Most Oft Asked Questions In The Kitchen

Hoo waits for dinner

The most often asked kitchen questions:

  • Is there anything to eat?
  • What’s to eat?
  • What can I eat?
  • Are we eating soon?
  • When are we eating?
  • Can I eat this?
  • Whose chinese is this? Can I have it? (Usually said with a mouth full of cold lo mein).
  • Why isn’t there ever anything to eat???

(Bart)

Bart eyes Hoo’s dinner of purple grapes, cubed cheese, banana slices and toast points with butter.

“Well, you have dinner I see.” He sneaks a few grapes off the plate.

“Bart, would you like a plate of grapes and cheese? You sound a little jealous.”

“When he eats the food looks so good.”

I open the fridge and take out the rice and meat sauce.

I make a plate for Bart and put it in the microwave.

Now Hoo sees that Bart has something interesting to eat and immediately loses interest in his dinner.

Bart says, “You want to trade buddy.”

He switches his plate with the baby and proceeds to eat Hoo’s dinner while Hoo digs his hands in the rice and sauce.

“You know” I say, “I would have made you your own.”

“I know.”

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